Lifelong Love & Marriage
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I apologize for my absence, but the show must go on…
One of my favorite songs of all time is “Dontchange” by Musiq Soulchild. I’m sure you know the song or have heard it… if not, HERE you have it. I love the song because it basically says… I’ll love you no matter what. As we age, as we change; I’ll love you despite the frailties and unavoidable realities of life. More importantly, it brings up a topic that has been quite present in my conversations for some time: Life-long love and marriage. Is it still possible these days?
I am sadly discouraged, and this is why…
In this day and age, we are wound up in convenience and swept away by instant gratification. We don’t have to work hard for anything really. Everything we need and want is right in front of us. Just as the computer that you are reading this on enabled you to readily access this page, the majority of the things that our generation (Gen Y) seeks can also be found at the push of a button or beyond a few, quick keystrokes. We operate with a mentality like no others before us. When we want something, whether it is results or info, we want it now. We take this mentality and apply it to our friendships, relationships and ultimately love. We want it all to be convenient. We want love to come on our time and meet all of our expectations, however unrealistic they may be. We press the ones that choose to love us into those same constraints. We want it to be effortless. Simple. Malleable. Susceptible to our wants and needs. It’s like we want the love *Easy* button to zap us through all the hard times. Debate and compromise are the shaping and sanding stones against which you rub your relationship to polish it up and make it what it should be. You can’t expect that that argument or disagreement is going to come when you want. Or that it’ll be resolved to your liking. All you can do is play your part. Convenience isn’t a factor in relating to another person. You don’t love someone simply because their right next to you. Perfect example: LDR (Long-distance relationships). You grow to love them because you work well together and have shaped your relationship to your liking.
One of my favorite songs of all time is “Dontchange” by Musiq Soulchild. I’m sure you know the song or have heard it… if not, HERE you have it. I love the song because it basically says… I’ll love you no matter what. As we age, as we change; I’ll love you despite the frailties and unavoidable realities of life. More importantly, it brings up a topic that has been quite present in my conversations for some time: Life-long love and marriage. Is it still possible these days?
I am sadly discouraged, and this is why…
In this day and age, we are wound up in convenience and swept away by instant gratification. We don’t have to work hard for anything really. Everything we need and want is right in front of us. Just as the computer that you are reading this on enabled you to readily access this page, the majority of the things that our generation (Gen Y) seeks can also be found at the push of a button or beyond a few, quick keystrokes. We operate with a mentality like no others before us. When we want something, whether it is results or info, we want it now. We take this mentality and apply it to our friendships, relationships and ultimately love. We want it all to be convenient. We want love to come on our time and meet all of our expectations, however unrealistic they may be. We press the ones that choose to love us into those same constraints. We want it to be effortless. Simple. Malleable. Susceptible to our wants and needs. It’s like we want the love *Easy* button to zap us through all the hard times. Debate and compromise are the shaping and sanding stones against which you rub your relationship to polish it up and make it what it should be. You can’t expect that that argument or disagreement is going to come when you want. Or that it’ll be resolved to your liking. All you can do is play your part. Convenience isn’t a factor in relating to another person. You don’t love someone simply because their right next to you. Perfect example: LDR (Long-distance relationships). You grow to love them because you work well together and have shaped your relationship to your liking.
At the same time, we want everything to please us immediately and at all times thereafter. We want happiness now, success now, sex now, and love now. Just as if I Googled “love” and got results, we want to meet a person, and say love me now! Back in the old days, they courted each other, then went steady (dated), then became a couple with all the bells and whistles. Part of the way we feel is because we all want to be loved and belong. However the majority of it is that we feel like it’s due to us. So we pray to God that he’ll send us love and give us everything we need. Just like Alex Hitchens (played by Will Smith) did in the movie “Hitch,” I believe that opportunities are out there that we have to jump at. And sometimes, we won’t get immediate results. Sometimes, we have to wait and let love come to us.
In the end, I don’t say all this to be a pessimistic. I say all this to present a case. If we don’t stop trying to make it all convenient and have it all right now, I believe we’ll become a loveless society. Don’t forget to share your thoughts! Better yet... Prove me wrong!
QOTWk : If you like a guy/girl, how do you go about letting them know?
3 comments:
Response via Facebook:
Great blog, April! And great question to pose as well...I believe you are right on the money with your keen observations. Everyone wants everything from everybody in their lives right NOW, no later than tomorrow! Nothing worthwhile is built/developed overnight...So people end up with instant gratification but worthless relations that eventually fall completely apart bcus the groundwork was never laid...
Response via Facebook:
I wonder about this topic a lot because, I see, more than ever, the way our generation thinks. It saddens me that the majority are so wrapped up in the impertinent details of day to day life and will never experience what my friends and I like to call... Obama love
This is so true, it is changing our society in drastic ways... I saw "Funny Ppl" (kinda long but good to bootleg on a rainy day) and Adam Sandler's Character, George, says to the Seth Rogan, " ur from the divorce era, ull never be as funny as me cause u dont have to lighten the mood when Daddy hits mom wit a shoe and is coming after u wit a bat"... For the sake of funny, ppl need to stay together. (lol) but for real ppl need to teach their kids how to have a FAMILY and work thru issues. Amazing!
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