Wednesday, May 13, 2009

DyVineDyalogue 1.4

Love does hurt. And not when just when you lose it. I hear, or see a lot on facebook, myspace, YouTube (subscribe BTW... ... ha ha), and from friends... that timeless advice... "Love shouldn't hurt"... That's a lie. If it doesn't hurt... U're probably not doing it right. Or it's probably not love.
In the past few weeks, I've seen hella (yes, hella) statuses and tweets pertaining to love (or whatever). "I'm in Luv" or something of that nature... I'm gonna play devil's advocate and say "NO U Ain't!" You are in deep LIKE! I, in no way, am talking to the ppl who have been in these long loving relationships. I'm talking to the ppl who met someone recently, and the ppl who seem to be walking around with these rose-colored glasses; this warped view of what love is or isn't. So let me state my case....
When you first meet someone... It's magical. U LIKE everything about that person... The way they say your name, or call you Boo; the way they hold your hand or call you just to see what you're doing. U even like the way they snore... lol (which I don't mind at all... do you. LMAO). And that's all perfectly fine... but this is not LOVE... this is LIKE. My guy Chris Michaels said something similar to this before... He basically said, you HAVE to Fall in LIKE first cuz at the end of the day, you have to truly LIKE who that person is in order for it to work. I think this is where a lot of ppl fall head over heels and start changing statuses to say "______ is SoooOO in LuV w/my new BOO". Go on ahead. Tell the world or at least the ppl on your friends list. If that person moves you to speak... do so...(Just call me LOW. You get it... my last name is Key... LOW KEY,LOL... I digress). All in all, I like to call this STAGE 1.
Then the interesting stuff happens... Suddenly, you start to see FLAWS....::insert Law & Order sound effect::Whatever the flaws may be... they begin to flesh themselves out. U get to see the person that they truly are.... No game, no makeup (lol), just the real. It's at this point that you have to decide.... Are these flaws deal-breakers??? can I handle that he has no swag?? Can I handle that he is so close with his baby mama??? Can I handle the fact that she's not the perfect dime I met in the club; more like a regular *ss 7?? Or can I handle the fact that she likes to party??? You have to decide. This is where many of the "things," that I refuse to call relationships, go down hill.... Then the fb relationship status becomes... "It's complicated". Whomp whomp! This is STAGE 2.
Then the **amazing** stuff happens.... You successfully pass stage 2. You like each other and you know each others flaws, but you're still hanging in there..(now that's not to say that you won't discover more flaws along the way).... Congratulations... you have a RELATIONSHIP.... and you've made it to STAGE 3! This is where you build. This is where you grow. This is where you make that decision.... Can this last?? Forever?? More importantly.... What can I do to make this work??? And you fall... IN LOVE.... hard as h*ck! Don't get me wrong, relationships fail here too! Why? because ppl don't wanna put in the EFFORT! They want love to be soooo easy. If it was easy, we'd be able to pick it up at the local store right along with milk and the EASY button... but that ain't the case. Cuz neither exist... Easy Love or that d*rn Easy button....And that's my case....
So... whether love hurts or not... why I say it does....
Emotionally, whether we wear our hearts proudly like our favorite shirts or hide em like the bad underwear you shouldn't have worn when you knew d*rn well you was gettin some tonight, we are fragile. We have expectations that aren't always met in relationships. We get hurt. We find out things that we can't handle. Things happen, ppl change. We love hard. We cry harder. Mostly at stage 2.Speaking from personal experience.... love hurts constantly.... It hurts to be away from the significant other. It hurts to know that this might not last forever. It hurts to know that there are ppl out there that don't want you to be happy in your relationship, so they wanna throw a monkey wrench all up in yo ish. Just being in love hurts... you know... that whole achy feeling in your heart.... That breath-takin, beat-skipping thump. You know what Lauryn Hill said.... When it hurts so bad... why does it feel sooooo goood?? (That's my song, cuz it's sooo tru).
And here's another thing...I know that what ppl really mean to say is... "when someone loves you, they would never intentionally mean to hurt you." but LOVE does hurt!In most cases when this should be said, you have to think logically thru the pain... when they did whatever they did... do you really think they meant to hurt u? Maybe it isn't about U! Maybe it's just about them!!!
Just rantin on love.... let me know what you think.... Plz Comment...
QOTWk: For the fellas... If you like a girl, why are you hesitant to say so???

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Its funny that you would post this, this week of all weeks, as I myself have been faced with this topic firsthand. Love is an interesting entity. It is a common thread amongst people like music. Like Phonte says " You know we always, we always talkin 'bout love
We always thinkin 'bout it ya'know
I'm in love, I want love, I need love, whatever
But like sometimes I wonder
With all the hurt and pain that people that supposedly love you put you through
Is that really love?" It always amuses me to see the statuses regarding people being in love on the social networking sites, as you mentioned in your writing. I like to refer to it as the honeymoon phase. You put it so perfectly that is deep like, whereas love is maintaining that deep like feeling after the veil has been pulled from your eyes. When you can see the beauty in an individual and nothing is keeping you around or having to deal with this individual but will,despite his/her imperfections and can be a constant pillar of strength no matter the circumstance;It could be they have no job, they got kids, they have a record, an addiction, a questionable past that my friends is love. I tend to think I have an old soul. I gawk in amazement at the relationships of my grandparents generation and strive to be at peace with understanding that love is something you will not completely understand. I think where they succeeded is as a friend said to me earlier "they found peace in not knowing or rather realizing that they would never understand".So they took the good with the bad, reprimanded as they should but in the end realized that their commitment to each other could withstand anything. Love does hurt and I can speak that from past experience and current, as I sit here and conjure up these comments to your post. However what I think hurts more than Loving itself is not having the love returned or acknowledged.I myself decided that I would love differently and unselfishly.I decided that progression with individualistic growth would be key in my ability to love an individual who as it stood didn't measure up to much regarding what he had for himself. I saw his will powerful to want better for himself and those around him as enough for me to invest myself in him in hopes that in return, though I never asked for anything, when I did he would be there for me as I was for him,he'd keep it 100,and above everything else just keep his word..... FAIL so hey Love does hurt.. now that we know it hurts.. the question is how do you make it truly stop.

Template by:
Free Blog Templates