Wednesday, June 10, 2009

DyVineDyalogue 1.6

**Do the Titles Matter**
Hey guys. I must admit that I had a bad week (sick and all that ish). Nonetheless, this week’s topic came from the QOTWk of Last week. Do the titles really matter in a relationship? Instead of goin in on the comments, I decided to just make a DyVine Dyalogue on the subject and shed some light.

Most of us like titles. Why? Because that way, we can clearly define what that other person is to us. For example, boyfriend/girlfriend means we’re exclusive- I shouldn’t have to worry about you wildin with anybody else or worry about catching feelings and the love isn’t reciprocated. It’s definite. You know your limits, boundaries, etc. This is why we like titles. This is why we try our best to label most people in life. Our best friends, our roll dogs, our dips, and the like... When we don’t have titles, that’s when things could get iffy in a situation.

Usually, when we meet a person, usually, we spit that good game and talk for a while. At some point we decide that this person is our boyfriend/girlfriend. Right? And that’s perfectly normal. Hell, up until recently, that’s how I thought the world worked. I thought there HAD to be titles. I couldn’t comprehend anything more (and I’m not slow… it’s just all that I had ever known)

On the converse, some people don’t seem to like titles too soon in a relationship (surprisingly, this can go on for months… or years {Yikes}!!) They prefer that there’s some sort of understanding that will then progress towards titles. For these people... there is no: I like you, you like me, let’s give this relationship a go and if we go wrong, oh well. I can say now that I completely understand this. It makes sense not to just jump into titles-which, then, come with “obligations.”

So, I ask this, (hopefully to help everyone understand)…do those titles really matter? If I don’t call my dog “my” dog, won’t he still be mine? In a relationship, so long as you and that other person have the EXACT SAME understanding of what the “relationship” entails, you’ll be fine. The titles won’t/don’t matter. But when you guys have two different ideas of what’s going on…. Then the drama starts. He/She wants to know…”What are we? What is this? What are we doing together?” You dig me? Trust, I didn’t always think this logically. In fact, I have asked those same questions. And I have cried cuz I just didn’t understand.

So here’s my advice… know what you have. Even though it may seem petty at first, sit down with your significant other, dip, lover, or what have you… and ask the pertinent questions. Are we together? Are we exclusive? Is this how we will continue to be? Or will we grow to more? I guarantee that you and that other person will be much happier for it. One less headache.

QOTWk: Can good or bad sex make or break a relationship? Should it?

1 comment:

Isis said...
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